The Buck Stops Here

by Brenda Do

Many of us were taught it’s not kind to judge others. But very few of us were taught it’s even more unkind when we judge ourselves.

But if you’re like most of us, you’re probably your worst critic.

Are you…

• Quick to chastise yourself for what you didn’t do well/enough/right, and slow to congratulate yourself for what you did do well/enough/right?

• Focused more on what you didn’t do, rather than what you did do?

• Judging yourself for past mistakes, rather than thanking yourself for your lessons?

• Looking at your body, quick to point out what you don’t like about it instead of what you do like?

The list goes on and on.

Sure, it’s always good to see how we can improve ourselves. But you know if your self judgment is really making you better…or beating you down.

For instance, how would it feel being surrounded by people who consistently point out your “failings” or “weaknesses?” Always pointing out areas where you’re not good enough?

In contrast, how would it feel to be surrounded by people who frequently acknowledge and respect your skills and talents. People who help carry you further into your greatness?

I’m guessing you wouldn’t want to spend time with people beating you down. But most of us don’t think twice about doing it to ourselves.

It doesn’t make sense, does it?

Our former President Harry S. Truman had a motto, “The buck stops here.” He believed the President must make the decisions. He can’t pass the job to anyone else.

The same goes for each of us. We’re the leader of our own happiness.

We shouldn’t wait for someone else to tell us how wonderful we are. Because if you don’t know it yourself, you wouldn’t believe them anyway.

That’s why when it comes to knowing you’re great, only your opinion matters. It’s not proven by the trophy, the promotion, or what the bathroom scale tells you.

You’ll be happier for it, you’ll feel more confident, and you’ll feel a lot less stressed.

Here’s my challenge to you:

Before you go to bed at night, list 3 ways you were kind to yourself that day. It can be as simple as enjoying that cookie without guilt or not calling yourself “dumb” for making a mistake at work.

The next evening, list 4 examples. Get up to at least 10 each day.

Every day, consciously love yourself more. It’ll create a significant shift in your self awareness, which ripples out to how you see and interact with others.

Most importantly, you’ll see how fantastic you really are.